Even in practical matters of life, whatever is done calmly tends to produce better results. The Communion bread which is baked over a gentle flame turns out perfectly, while that which they bake over a fierce flame gets burnt on the outside and is underdone on the inside. In the same way, any food that is cooked over a gentle flame turns out better and is more beneficial to the health. In farming there is the example of land which is irrigated gently. In dealing with people, the calm way is more effective for the soul and brings the right result. In contrast to this, forceful methods bring bad reactions. We will talk about the benefits of calmness in more detail in the coming chapters.

The Disadvantages of Lacking Calmness

The person who is not spiritually calm places the worries of the world on himself, thus causing him many problems. He loses his inner peace and experiences anxiety and mental frustration

because of the troubles involved. He may also experience depression, sadness and confusion. As a result, he may become afflicted with numerous illnesses such as mental fatigue. Loss of peace causes nervous tension and this result in a person losing his peace of mind. Each is a cause and effect of the other. The person whose nerves are not calm does himself harm, physically, emotionally and socially. He changes his personality and loses other people's respect for him. The teacher who is calm and firm is respected by his pupils. The one who rants angrily with threats, reprimands and harsh words towards his pupils, loses their respect for him and is not taken seriously by them. Whenever they want to provoke him they can do so easily.

Likewise a mother who shouts loudly, scolds, yells, smacks and threatens her children, imagining that by doing this that she is bringing them up properly, instead makes her relationship with them a constant row and struggle. The person who is not calm loses his composure with other people. He gets angry with them and they get angry with him.

If he loses his calmness and clashes with them, how easy it is for them to react in the same way! He loses their friendship and love and he may also lose their respect. He may be confronted with their hostility and enter into bad relationships. If he loses his calmness he may become noisy, unruly and start creating trouble. He may become rebellious and rude. By

losing his peace, his internal confusion may also become apparent externally with his behavior appearing unbalanced.

Because he is not calm, the slightest word bothers him, the slightest action of another provokes him. He may have a desire for revenge, to defend himself, to prove his existence, or to preserve his dignity, becoming agitated without achieving any result, and thus clashing with others. The calm person, even if provoked, replies calmly and wins the situation as a result of his calmness.

A person who is not calm loses in a conflict and mistakes are pinned on him. Perhaps he is the one who was originally wronged, but replying rudely or answering with the wrong reply results in the situation being reversed. He becomes the aggressor rather than the injured party!!

The calm person, however, even if the discussion gets overheated, can calm it down. As the Bible says: "A soft answer turns away wrath." (Prov. 15:1) and also: "The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools " (Eccl. 9:17). The person who is not calm is prone to many errors, while the Bible says: "Calmness can lay great errors to rest" also: "A wholesome tongue is a tree of life," (Prov. 15:4).

We cannot calculate the damage and negative effects that result from handling things with violence, forcefulness or tension. A restless person might imagine that by expressing himself so forcefully, he is expressing his masculinity and strength of character!!

A forceful and aggressive approach does not in any way prove masculinity or strength of character. The calm person is always stronger because he is able to control his temper and words, stronger also because he has risen above the level of being easily provoked or incited, stronger because in his calmness he is able to control the situation and think of a way of solving the difficulty without getting upset. Thus the Apostle says: "We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the wear". (Rom. 15:1).

What a deep stumbling block it is for children whose parents quarrel. The house loses its calmness and the father and mother are tense, perhaps they are abusive or fight each other. Each wants to prove that they are stronger, that they are right, that they can give as good an answer as the other. The result is that they lose their children's respect because of the stumbling block and bad example they represent. These parents also lose their good reputation with the neighbours, who may start to say "that is a house which has lost its peace"! Perhaps the following pages will clarify in greater detail the negative effects of losing one's calmness.

Calmness, BY H.H. Pope Shenouda III, 117th Pope of Alexandria and the See of St. Mark.